Life in Lithuania II

There's a lot of talk about education reform in Lithuania now.  Various ideas have been put forward.   The current Minister of Education and Science says that a lot has been accomplished.  Others say that very little of substance has been accomplished.  One idea that is often mentioned is reducing the number of post-secondary institutions.

I have to say that I can't get very interested in the discussion.  Perhaps something such as what is mentioned in the preceding paragraph needs to be done.  I'm more interested in the view that I receive of post-secondary education however.

Did you know that if you are a university student and your mother is a member of the Lithuanian parliament, you will be able to regularly drink coffee with the dean of the Faculty of Medicine and get passing grades no matter how little you do or how poor the quality of your work is?  Did you know that if your father is a professor in the Faculty of Medicine and you are not passing an introductory class in that faculty, you can transfer to another introductory class where the teacher is more easily persuaded to give a passing grade?  Did you know that the Lithuanian doctor who could now be treating you or a loved one (or making medical policy as a member of the government) may not have passed one class without cheating?

That's just a glimpse of the view I have of Lithuanian post-secondary education.  It's the same problem that can be found in much of Lithuanian society: lack of moral/ethical standards by a large percentage of people and plenty who feel that such a situation is none of their business or don't care to get involved.  Oh, there are a few, a very small minority (by my calculations), who would like to do something, but they are so afraid that they rarely raise their voices.  Those who do make waves often have their careers derailed by both the guilty parties and the many who hold the idea that conformity is sacred and the whistle-blowers are the real criminals.  As in many other parts of the world, these same people hide behind patriotism and church/family/loyalty to superiors/etc.

So, yeah, education reform in Lithuania:  I just don't think that anything meaningful is really going to happen.  Those rotten parts of the system are encouraging more rot by helping put their children and other family members into positions of authority.  And that problem is one that I haven't seen anyone in Lithuania address seriously in the 16 years I've been here.

Life in Lithuania I

I read an article yesterday on Alfa.lt, a Lithuanian news portal, that pretty much perfectly sums up what is wrong with Lithuania.  I've just got to pass it on.  The original story appears here.

Actor Juozas Bindokas, who works at the Siauliai Drama Theatre, had a very curious experience.  A police officer responding to the actor's call for help advised him to compensate the "damages suffered" by the drunken youths who were hassling him.

Saturday (2 October) evening, around 9 p.m., 60-year-old Juozas Bindokas, who had appeared in two plays that day, was driving home.  On the way home, he decided to stop by a shop.  Bindokas pulled off the main road onto a drive leading to the parking lot of the store.   There he was forced to stop by three young men who were drinking alcohol and blocking the road. They moved out of the way reluctantly after being asked by the actor.  Very shortly after Bindokas began driving again he heard his left rear wheel run over something.

"As soon as I heard the noise, I stopped the car and turned on my hazard lights.  The young men who were drinking pointed out that I'd run over a can of beer and immediately demanded that I buy them another one.  I refused to do that and then one of them began yelling and saying that I'd run over his foot. I understood that nothing good could come from this situation, so I called the police", Bindokas reported.

The actor said that the young men were quite happy to hear that the police were coming.  "They continued to berate me for not buying them some beer.  While we were waiting for the police to come, they threw the other cans that were lying around into a nearby trash bin.  A policeman arrived shortly thereafter and tested the drunkeness of the young men", Bindokas said.

The young men told the police that the actor "hadn't signaled or flashed his lights".  Otherwise they would have had time to get out of the way.  "They said that they had put their money together and only had enough to buy that one can of beer.  They then said that they had set it on the road because they wanted to smoke a cigarette.  And I, jerk that I am, went and ran over it", Bindokas said, not hiding his irony.

The policeman then advised Bindokas to buy some beer for the young men who had "suffered a loss", because that would solve everything.  "I was shocked by his suggestion.  But he told me that I was better off to give them several litas now than to have to go through a court hearing later.  I had to give in, but I really didn't expect such a reaction from the policeman," Bindokas said with disappointment in his voice.

According to the actor, it was interesting that the policeman completely ignored the story about one of the young men getting his foot run over.  "The young man whose foot I supposedly ran over left the scene after a while.  The others then said that he had a very good lawyer.  And the officer didn't even question the person who was working in the shop and who saw the entire situation", Bindokas reported.

Gailute Smagriuniene, a spokesperson for the police in Siauliai, told Lietuvos Zinios [a Lithuanian newspaper] that a police officer reponded to a call at approximately 9 p.m. yesterday.  "A young man stated that his foot had been run over.  The officer determined that hadn't happened and that the driver of the car had only run over a can of beer," she said.  When asked whether it would be possible to talk to the police officer who had responded to the incident, she stated that he was sleeping after working the night shift.

A little slice of life from Lithuania.  I admit that the actor shouldn't have given those punks any money (or bought them beer--whatever he eventually did) and he shouldn't have been scared to pursue the matter (even though it might have meant going to court), but really what can a person do in such a situation?  It's clear that calling the police doesn't do any good.

You Know You've Been in Lithuania Too Long When:

An e-mail forward I received from a friend of mine. (Thanks, Steve.) Rather humorous and provides some insight into what it means to live in Lithuania (too long).

You know you've been in Lithuania too long when:

· You only eat in restaurant-chains that start with Čili.
· You put ketchup on your pizza and think that's the way the Italians do it.
· Half of your friends disappear to work in the British Isles, Scandinavia, or the United States and you think that's normal.
· You have become tired of explaining to your friends and relatives at home that you are a) not in Latvia, b) not in Russia, and c) Riga isn't the capital of the Baltic.
· With a meal, you drink either beer or tea.
· Basketball has become the most important thing in your life.
· There is only one beer for you: Švyturys Extra.
· Half of the population working as "managers" seems reasonable to you.
· Tall, blonde beauties in short skirts are nothing special for you anymore.
· During winter, instead of looking for a thermostat to adjust the temperature in your room, you just open the window.
· You learned everything about the glorious Lithuanian language, and now you get angry about the ignorant people who deny the existence of a Lithuanian language or, worse, consider it some branch of the Slavic languages.
· You've learned the hard way that a triangle means women's toilet and a triangle upside down means men's.
· During a long night of partying, you went out to take a pee in the cold streets because there was only one unisex toilet in the whole pub.
· You think drunks shouting at you in Russian are a normal part of life.
· When you enter a bus and there is no strange smell, you think there's something wrong.
· Buses without antennae seem awkward to you.
· If anything goes wrong, you blame the Russians, the Poles, or the rest of the world.
· You see someone smiling in public and you think: well, a bloody foreigner.
· A meal for you must contain either potato or meat, but usually both.
· You start leaving out the articles, even in English or your native language.
· You become scared when you come upon big old babushkas in furs because they trample everything in their way.
· You are afraid crossing a street, especially at zebra crossings or traffic lights.
· You feel guilty about wearing your shoes after entering a flat.
· You consider cranberry the best flavour for water, juice and vodka.
· You think beer is a soft drink, not an alcoholic beverage.
· Going to the opera, the concert hall, or the theatre is just a usual thing to do in the evenings.
· Given names like Christmas tree, sun, amber, diamond, and oak seem normal to you.
· Everything 50 m above sea level seems like a mountain.
· You get a one-centimetre haircut and buy a fake leather jacket and a black cap (if you are male) OR you buy a skirt the size of a belt and don't leave the house without tonnes of make-up (if you are female).
· You consider smoked pig's ears a tasty beer snack.
· You love the Baltic Sea and go swimming there at nearly any temperature.
· For you, garlic has become an ingredient just like salt or pepper.
· You consider Lithuania the best and worst place on earth at the same time.
· You teach everybody that in medieval times the Lithuanian Grand Duchy ranged from the Baltic to the Black Sea.
· You add "as", "a" or "is" to the end of foreign names so you can conjugate them.
· You carry around five cell phones and several cards from eight different phone companies so that you always get the best price.
· You consider fastening your seatbelt a sign of weakness and are not surprised if a car doesn’t have seatbelts at all.
· You think Coca Cola is the unhealthiest drink in the world and that drinking lots of beer, sugary juice, and bread drink prolongs your life.
· You haven't seen a clear sky for months and you don't miss it anymore.
· You consider rain the norm and sunshine a special weather phenomenon.

Lithuanian in UK

Click here if you'd like to hear a little about the life of a Lithuanian student in the UK. He has some interesting things to say. Some of the things he talks about are stereotypes (and then he goes on to stereotype British students), Lithuanian education vs. British education, and immigrants in the UK. I found this at Lithuanian Jotter.

Thoughts from Other Expats about Life in Lithuania

As I promised, here are some thoughts from other expats about life in Lithuania.
Let's start off with a quiz.

Are you a Vilnius.....?

Hey, you’ve had the withering stare as you make a whimsical wisecrack, you’ve been shouldered out of the way by one at the supermarket (and that’s just the staff) and you’ve had to dive for your life to escape being mown down as you cross a pedestrian crossing—but how do YOU know that you’re not one too? Well, now you can find out: by taking this simple questionnaire, you can know for sure whether you’re a mercenary Mindaugas or an egregious Egle…

1)
You have just come into some money and decide to buy a car. What will it be?
a) Something reliable and economical, a Japanese car perhaps.
b) Something with a bit of grunt, a little Alfa maybe
c) A black or very very (very) dark grey top of the range BMW, which you will then proceed to drive as if you are of another realm, one where natural laws of consideration and courtesy are not to be found.

2)
You are parking your relatively flash car (see above) at a supermarket carpark. It’s busy and spaces are at a premium. Do you:
a) Park as near to the entrance as you can, within reason.
b) Maybe leave it by the kerb or in a disabled spot – you’re not going to be long.
c) Park it diagonally across two (or three) spaces (preferably disabled ones). Hey, your car costs money. F*ck the people whose spaces you’ve taken.

3)
It’s election time and you’re weighing up the pros and cons of various candidates. You see a candidate who you’ve decided you’re not going to vote for – but why?
a) You are concerned about this candidate’s track record and doubt that they will be good for the country as a whole’s interests.
b) You’ve read the manifesto and you are concerned this party will raise taxation.
c) The candidate looks like a Jew

4)
You are given some advice on a point of technical, legal, financial or sporting interest. You decide to disregard it. Why?
a) You think that this person has no real knowledge or experience of the subject.
b) You hear what they say but you think you know better.
c) The advice was given to you by a woman.

5)
You meet a man who is of a certain age, yet is unmarried. You think…
a) This is OK. It’s not for everyone. Better than getting married to the wrong person.
b) You think it’s a little strange, and you wonder how he manages to eat, clean or wipe his own .
c) You think he must be gay and therefore must be taken out and dispatched. They are trying to take over the world after all.

6)
It’s a nice sunny afternoon and you want to chill, maybe with some music. What do you put on?
a) Some cool 1950s jazz, John Coltrane, perhaps.
b) Metallica’s latest album.
c) Two tracks by some godforsaken europop group which you proceed to play through 300 watt speakers over and over and over again, dancing round and round and clapping your hands in the air as you do so.

7)
You are a woman. What do you think about your appearance?
a) I care about it of course but it’s not the be all and end all.
b) I like to spend a lot of time in the morning on it, check all the magazines regularly, and shop for clothes virtually every week.
c) I spend more than I earn every month on makeup, accessories, clothes etc. My idea of functional shoes is that the heels should be capable of engraving intricate details into cut glass. I cannot walk past a surface with a refractive index above 0.8 without checking myself off in it, and in summer I wear hotpants smaller than the average handkerchief, with a g-string prominently showing through then wonder why the crowd of British stag do guys have been reduced to a mélange of incoherent half-wits.

8)
In your opinion, what is the essence of a valid piece of information? A legal document, an official letter, or a translation are just three possible examples here.
a) It is relevant, to the point, written in clear English, and is set out legibly and consistently
b) It is neatly presented on nice paper.
c) It has been stamped. Twice.

9)
What is the key issue in Lithuania’s accession to the EU?
a) It signifies the continued success of the European vision and opens up still more opportunities in trade, business and international cooperation.
b) It doesn’t really interest me much but I suppose it’s good to raise the country’s profile.
c) We can get money from it. On the other hand the worry is they’ll let Turkey join.

10)
People who are out of work and living at or below the poverty line, often due to illness or injury, sometimes with kids to feed and no obvious source of income or advantages in life, are:
a) The very people a civilized society needs to protect, through a comprehensive and fair welfare system funded largely through a progressive system of taxation.
b) Unlucky, I feel sorry for them, but there is nothing I can easily do.
c) Stupid.

11)
What is your idea of hell on earth?
a) Iraq.
b) New York City.
c) Kaunas.

So how did you do? For each question you answered a) to, give yourself one point, two points for each time you answered b), and the maximum three for every c) answer. Tot your scores up and check against our Vilnometer below.

The Vilnometer

28 or above
Valio! You are tikras vilnietis/e! You’ve got the look, the bombastic demeanour, and the utter lack of consideration. A BMW 850i is your chariot, the Akropolis Centre is your, er, acropolis, and LT United provide the soundtrack to your life. This country needs more people like you.

20–28
Šiaip Sau — You get by but one suspects you are not the ‘tikras’ deal. You need to work on this a bit; stopping smiling and taking fewer showers are a good start if you’re a guy, or work on that vacant and utterly uninterested poker face if you’re a girl.

12–19
Jėsus Marija! — What’s wrong with you? Are you a foreigner or something? I’ll bet you don’t even have a business. Peasant, you must be soooo stupid. You probably have been on a trolleybus at some point in your life, or think that it is OK to wear clothes which aren’t made by dolce y gabbana. Get out of here before I call the police and get you sent to Pabradė.

(This came to me by way of a friend who was not the writer. If the writer so wishes, I'll give him credit for this in the future.)

Next: excerpts from an SMS conversation that took place between me and a friend from the States.
"'Callous' is the term I prefer, though it doesn't capture the completely natural way it is done here--without remorse, as if I'm the one with the problem for mentioning the near atrocity they've just committed."

And finally, excerpts from an e-mail of a friend who's just relocated to Japan.
"Yeah, so far there is a entire world of a difference between Japan and Lithuania...I have to say it is difficult for me not to view Lithuania without a shake of the head...the way I describe my time in Vilnius is by alluding to a cut off reel from a David Lynch movie...where even Lynch himself felt it was all just too odd or even he thought it didn`t make any sense - I also think of Lithuania as a troubled teenager maybe 17 years old... Tokyo is Yoda and Princess Leia rolled into one...whereas Vilnius is the Death Star waiting to be detonated.

So, there you go. A glimpse at the dark side of what it means to live here.