Wednesday, 11 June 2008

You Know You've Been in Lithuania Too Long When:

An e-mail forward I received from a friend of mine. (Thanks, Steve.) Rather humorous and provides some insight into what it means to live in Lithuania (too long).

You know you've been in Lithuania too long when:

· You only eat in restaurant-chains that start with Čili.
· You put ketchup on your pizza and think that's the way the Italians do it.
· Half of your friends disappear to work in the British Isles, Scandinavia, or the United States and you think that's normal.
· You have become tired of explaining to your friends and relatives at home that you are a) not in Latvia, b) not in Russia, and c) Riga isn't the capital of the Baltic.
· With a meal, you drink either beer or tea.
· Basketball has become the most important thing in your life.
· There is only one beer for you: Švyturys Extra.
· Half of the population working as "managers" seems reasonable to you.
· Tall, blonde beauties in short skirts are nothing special for you anymore.
· During winter, instead of looking for a thermostat to adjust the temperature in your room, you just open the window.
· You learned everything about the glorious Lithuanian language, and now you get angry about the ignorant people who deny the existence of a Lithuanian language or, worse, consider it some branch of the Slavic languages.
· You've learned the hard way that a triangle means women's toilet and a triangle upside down means men's.
· During a long night of partying, you went out to take a pee in the cold streets because there was only one unisex toilet in the whole pub.
· You think drunks shouting at you in Russian are a normal part of life.
· When you enter a bus and there is no strange smell, you think there's something wrong.
· Buses without antennae seem awkward to you.
· If anything goes wrong, you blame the Russians, the Poles, or the rest of the world.
· You see someone smiling in public and you think: well, a bloody foreigner.
· A meal for you must contain either potato or meat, but usually both.
· You start leaving out the articles, even in English or your native language.
· You become scared when you come upon big old babushkas in furs because they trample everything in their way.
· You are afraid crossing a street, especially at zebra crossings or traffic lights.
· You feel guilty about wearing your shoes after entering a flat.
· You consider cranberry the best flavour for water, juice and vodka.
· You think beer is a soft drink, not an alcoholic beverage.
· Going to the opera, the concert hall, or the theatre is just a usual thing to do in the evenings.
· Given names like Christmas tree, sun, amber, diamond, and oak seem normal to you.
· Everything 50 m above sea level seems like a mountain.
· You get a one-centimetre haircut and buy a fake leather jacket and a black cap (if you are male) OR you buy a skirt the size of a belt and don't leave the house without tonnes of make-up (if you are female).
· You consider smoked pig's ears a tasty beer snack.
· You love the Baltic Sea and go swimming there at nearly any temperature.
· For you, garlic has become an ingredient just like salt or pepper.
· You consider Lithuania the best and worst place on earth at the same time.
· You teach everybody that in medieval times the Lithuanian Grand Duchy ranged from the Baltic to the Black Sea.
· You add "as", "a" or "is" to the end of foreign names so you can conjugate them.
· You carry around five cell phones and several cards from eight different phone companies so that you always get the best price.
· You consider fastening your seatbelt a sign of weakness and are not surprised if a car doesn’t have seatbelts at all.
· You think Coca Cola is the unhealthiest drink in the world and that drinking lots of beer, sugary juice, and bread drink prolongs your life.
· You haven't seen a clear sky for months and you don't miss it anymore.
· You consider rain the norm and sunshine a special weather phenomenon.

30 comments:

joey dicarlo said...

hillarious! my wife (Lithuanian) & I (American) are still laughing!

Anonymous said...

Hysterical! Well observed.
Lithuanian wife and British husband

Anonymous said...

true story ;D

Anonymous said...

Sooo true. Even I, Lithuanian, can't argue :)

Anonymous said...

Good job ;)

Anonymous said...

im Lithuanian who lives in London and damn i miss this :)

Anonymous said...

· You haven't seen a clear sky for months and you don't miss it anymore.
· You consider rain the norm and sunshine a special weather phenomenon.

These are so not true

uptownwings said...

You forgot about that people wearing attire displaying 1 to 3 stripes are usually not the crowd you want to mingle with if you want to have any chance of having a semi-intelligent conversation :) For the rest, yeah, i start to recognise quite a few of them... Ouch....

Gintare Kaveckaite said...

haha :D for sure loving and hating it at the same time is my thing !!!

Mar said...

Extremely funny list! :D

Thanks for give to me the smile, but i do not feel i've been too long in Lithuania! xD

LilyMaster said...

I cannot believe, but 95% of this is true! I am a lithuanian. Yes, I am.

Anonymous said...

This makes sense! :) Lithuanian girlfriend and Georgian boyfriend (me).

Anonymous said...

Babushka is an acceptable English word now?..

Vytautas Jokubauskas said...

As a Lithuanian, I approve this. You just made my day.

Anonymous said...

we have a lot of mountains,this is true, really. We are like country of the mountains.

Tadas Cekavicius said...

oh, i see a pattern here. "Lithuaniana wife and ..." :D

Garbane said...

this is just too good :)!My hubby will love it, cause he considers Lithuania as a dream land :)))

Kristina Št. said...

Most of the post is true. It's funny and sad at the same time.

Gytis K said...

sorry, but I am a Lithuanian and study in Scotland. If you think that there is not enough of sunshine or warm weather in LT, then you should come to the UK. YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED

This summer was 10-15 during the daytime and mostly raining in Scotland.

Anonymous said...

Or you start to see, think and talk about the worst things in your life and instead of changing something you just complain and blame it on the place of your location

Antanas Tamašiūnas said...

Yeah. Good ones :)

Anonymous said...

Good one :D

- Pure Lithuanian :P

Edita Paluri said...

Good one :))

Anonymous said...

To the point! Dont forget about great coffee in MacDonalds!

paulesteikunaite said...

that's amusing, but I (lithuanian) disagree with a few points..

I mean, if you do think we wear inappropriately short skirts or too much make up, you should come and try living in the UK :)

Bugra Ceyhan said...

This is the best post about Lithuania lol

Anonymous said...

Good one :D there are some misleading information but still a lot of them are true :D
I liked the most (that is so true:D):
1. You have become tired of explaining to your friends and relatives at home that you are a) not in Latvia, b) not in Russia, and c) Riga isn't the capital of the Baltic.
2. Tall, blonde beauties in short skirts are nothing special for you anymore.
3. During winter, instead of looking for a thermostat to adjust the temperature in your room, you just open the window.
4. You learned everything about the glorious Lithuanian language, and now you get angry about the ignorant people who deny the existence of a Lithuanian language or, worse, consider it some branch of the Slavic languages.
5. A meal for you must contain either potato or meat, but usually both.
6. You become scared when you come upon big old babushkas in furs because they trample everything in their way.
7. You are afraid crossing a street, especially at zebra crossings or traffic lights.
8. You feel guilty about wearing your shoes after entering a flat. (Especially:D)
9. Going to the opera, the concert hall, or the theatre is just a usual thing to do in the evenings.
10. You consider smoked pig's ears a tasty beer snack.
11. For you, garlic has become an ingredient just like salt or pepper.
12. You teach everybody that in medieval times the Lithuanian Grand Duchy ranged from the Baltic to the Black Sea.
13. You add "as", "a" or "is" to the end of foreign names so you can conjugate them.
14. You carry around five cell phones and several cards from eight different phone companies so that you always get the best price.
15. You consider fastening your seatbelt a sign of weakness and are not surprised if a car doesn’t have seatbelts at all.

Lithuanian girl (me) and my boyfriend (french:D). Like someone said it is a pattern :D

Anonymous said...

pig ears as a snack..hahaha

Justas said...

Thanks, you made my day :D
5 years passed and people started smiling. The rest still holds :)
I think smiles are contagious or something.

Anonymous said...

So true. I'm lithuanian and this is so accurate.